I am Pedantic.

Texas State Alcohol Laws Are Embarrassing and Insulting to Rational Texan Residents

Dear Texas State Representatives,

As of today, April 24, 2011, it is illegal in the state of Texas to purchase beer from a grocery store before 12pm on a Sunday. Further, liquor cannot be sold in grocery stores, and liquor stores are legally prevented from opening on Sunday.¹

Regardless of the historical machinations and opinions that led to this state of affairs, the fact that it persists today is both embarrassing and insulting to the rational people who inhabit the great state of Texas. Historically, Texans are people who respect one another and don’t enjoy intrusion from the government in their affairs. The egregious nature of the current alcohol laws is best highlighted for me when I think of Stephen F. Austin being denied the ability to purchase beer before 12pm on a Sunday. Whose business is it if he wanted to make such a purchase? The state’s?

The laws are embarrassing for Texans because they are still in effect in the twenty-first century, long after political meddlers pushed their peculiar views of morality onto all residents of the state, and in an age where Texas is home to no fewer than fifteen large, bustling, cosmopolitan metropolises. Texans should not have to suffer the humiliation of being legally restricted from making simple alcohol purchases based on something as capricious as the time of morning or day of week on which the desire occurs. How does it reflect on Texans when their own state prevents them from buying beer before a Sunday barbeque, or bourbon before a Sunday evening meal?

The laws are insulting because they presume to treat all Texans as children, unable to decide for themselves when to purchase alcohol. No person’s right is violated when a peaceful, of-age Texan decides to purchase beer at 11am on Sunday, along with the rest of her groceries in preparation for an outdoor grill party with family and friends. The very thought that such a peaceful activity could be construed to be in violation of some individual’s rights, and thus restricted by the government, is preposterous. The insulting nature of the current laws is made even more egregious by the fact that Texans are a hardy and proud people, not easily discouraged or tread upon, yet they are forced to live under such adolescent restraints. Who can seriously stand up and declare that an average, law-abiding Texan should be legally prohibited from purchasing a single-malt scotch based solely on the day of the week?

It’s well past the time for these senseless restrictions to be removed and I charge you specifically and all Texans generally with the duty of effecting these changes. Anything less would be an irrational capitulation to the bullying and whims of others through force of law—a fate that no self-respecting Texan would ever endure.

Yours respectfully,

Brad Fults
Austin, Texas

1. Wikipedia: List of alcohol laws of the United States by state